Ciet.

People around me are too happy, and I silently rot in my own demise.
It has been so long since I laughed sincerely...I can't even remember when.
This is just so tragic.

I am such a loser.

Sigh.

I've got a reason to be quiet today, and maybe this is one way of God telling me to take it slow. Hopefully, I won't get too emotional by the end of the day to feel so utterly disgusted at myself.

Before I went to my cube, I passed by the restroom and took a good look at myself. I just looked, though pretending not to see, because I knew I would only be deafened by the screams behind the glass...inside the reflection in front of me, of my own reflection. My eyes revealed the weariness of having to go through another day of superficiality, and if the eyes were indeed the window to our soul, for lack of better word for it, I am soul-less, spiritless...listless.

This is the reason why I rarely look at myself in the mirror.

Caffeine Rush

If you see me order and drink coffee, then I suggest that you turn around and walk away. I'm not a coffee-drinker, but I do like to taste the bittersweet mix whenever I feel my life rolling down the hill.

In a few minutes, I will be getting my first serving of coffee for the day...

Feeling pain is inevitable. I can't concentrate on my work and every attempt to escape this dilemma just proves to be so useless.

Maybe this is because I never let the anger out. I kept all the feelings concealed inside a jar, and wished that I wouldn't blow up...I knew that I could keep all the emotions to myself, and if I needed to cry, then I would...but not in front of anybody.

Drink coffee?
Express anger?

Fallen Angel

I fall...I am weak...weary...listless...helpless...

Shadows and Secrets

Everybody has their secrets: hidden passion, unrequited love, angst and hatred.

My secret is this: an identity that has yet to materialize, but not to be recognized, for though my existence levels on two different worlds, that of love and the other, of enmity, people around me are not yet ready to accept this reality.